Freedom

A sigh of relief, a sigh a freedom. A time of new beginnings. After three horrid days of waiting to hear, I found out that I got laid off two Wednesdays ago. This liberation is unreal. I feel everything I want in my life is finally tangible. I have visions of myself in a white bikini on the shores of Rhode Island this summer…visions of a happy, creative, free Katie spinning and dancing in new circles, new people, new, new, new.

I do not regret any of my past, although I certainly do question it. One simple decision could have changed so much…but here I am about to take on a new journey once more…and it is utterly thrilling. I think of blueberry picking with my nephews in the summer – something that would have been quite difficult with me living six hours away. I think of once again being a full time student, my head swirling with thoughts, ideas, theories…I think of being true and honest to me and being who I want to be for me, not anyone else.

I do not know why this breakup has made me so happy, but it has. Because of that, I cannot really feel horribly sad – certainly there are moments of sadness, but more often there are moments of realization and clarity.